Owen = Young Warrior

The night Owen was born was a crazy night. Once all the family left, we realized Husband needed to run back home to get a few things (we definitely did NOT have a "hospital bag" packed). By the time he made it back, I was coherent enough to demand we give our "baby" a name. I was tired of praying for my "baby," and knowing many others would be praying for him as well we knew it was time to make a decision. Husband was sent to visit him in the NICU with our list of potential names (it was long) and was told to come back with it narrowed down. I did the same thing from my hospital bed. We both narrowed it down to the same couple of names, and after a bit of discussing we were 99% ready to go with Owen. But we thought we'd look up the meaning of the name  just to be sure. The meaning just sealed the deal - Owen is definitely our "young warrior." This kid has been through more in his 16 days than most people deal with in a lifetime. He is tough stuff and we are so glad he fought to stay here.

I thought I'd post pics that show his development in the past 2 weeks. (And sorry to those who have been waiting on more pictures - since I finally get to hold my son I would rather spend my days snuggling with him than updating the blog.) Lucky for you I have to give husband some snuggle time as well (which inevitably leads to them napping together) so while my boys are snoozing you get an update. :)

Day 1 - c-pap machine for breathing, sunbathing for jaundice, and a whole bunch of other cords to keep him alive.

Then he was intubated. Not fun.

Back to the c-pap

Doing the super man pose.

Back to being under the jaundice lights. Sigh.

And now he is one happy kid with only a feeding tube. And I am one happy mama because we get to snuggle all the day long! :)

We Believe in Miracles

The other night after Owen had a not-so-good day (he stopped breathing twice) we sat in my hospital room and made a list of all the miracles we had seen since the moment I started feeling the pain of the rupture. It was a long list full of miracles ranging in scope from the greatest of all-that both Owen and I are alive-to the small miracle of hitting only green lights on the drive to the hospital. We know all the miracles are gifts from a loving and kind Heavenly Father, yet we discovered that most of the miracles came about through others. The amazing care we have received from so many professionals at the hospital is astounding. The love and support we have felt from family and friends brings us to our knees in gratitude. The Lord can do amazing things with the right people in the right place at the right time.

The cutest cookie bouquet from some of my coworkers in St. Louis-they're the best!

Owen's first week of life has been tough. But when I look at where he was a week ago it is easy to see how far he has come. Leaving him at the hospital each night is the worst, but its so comforting knowing he's in the care of the best help possible-his big sister, his grandma, and his favorite aunt Linz, to name a few. The NICU is a special, sacred place. (Speaking of Lydia, they have the same hands. It makes me smile every time I look at them.)

Pretty sure this is how he slept in the womb. Livin the dream!

I was expecting a recovery similar to what I went through when Lydia was born (which was brutal to say the least) but in comparison this recovery has been a walk in the park. I know that is in large part to the prayers from so many. Other than swollen feet and ankles I don't have much to complain about and my days are spent in Owen's room napping, pumping, and letting him hold my finger (we still can't hold him-it's the worst). 

The view from my chair. Watching Husband be a dad is the best. The nurses are already giving him awards for being the most involved dad. Love him.

Thank you for your prayers for our family. They are being felt and we are just so grateful for Owen-he has already brought so much joy to his parents. Life is a pretty wonderful thing.

We had a few moments the other day with an unobstructed view of his face. We're still not quite sure who he looks like, but we're definitely in love!!

Introducing...

Welcome to the family, Owen Jensen Ditto!!

Born: January 11, 2015

Weight: 4.5 pounds 

Length: 17.5 inches 

So obviously things did not go according to plan. I had just put the meatballs in the oven for Sunday dinner and was helping Dan with the salad when I was hit with  basically the worst pain in the world. Of course since I'm stubborn I figured there's no way it was THAT bad and I needed to suck it up. I did have Husband give me a blessing, and within about 5 minutes I knew it was time to go to the hospital. :( 

Have I mentioned how much I hate hospitals? Husband endured the miserable drive, and when we got inside they took one look at me (I could barely walk) and got me back to a room. I'll spare you some of the scarier and traumatic details by just saying that within minutes they had figured out that my uterus had ruptured (rupturing was the one thing we were trying to avoid). From the time I walked into the hospital to the time Owen was delivered it was only 18 minutes. They had to be quick to save us both. Miracles happened and we are feeling so blessed. Owen will be in the NICU for at least a few weeks, but he is alive and he's going to make it and that's all that matters. He is pure perfection and I am miserable when I'm not with him. Husband is the best nurse for both me and Owen and I don't know what I'd do without him. So happy to be a family of four. Families are forever!!

My first time seeing him. The nurses were so nice to wheel my bed to his room for a few minutes. I love my little man.

Pregnancy FAQ's

Pregnant women are notorious for being crazy and getting offended if you say the wrong thing or ask the wrong question. While I'm sure Husband would attest to me being crazy, I like to pride myself in the fact that most questions/statements don't bother me. Feel free to tell me that I look like I'm going to pop (most likely I will agree with you!) Feel free to ask, "Are you sure there aren't 2 in there?" and I'll laugh too. I'm just so grateful to be pregnant that I don't see the point in getting all worked up just because people say something dumb about the fact that I'm fat. There are, however, a couple of the usual generic questions that EVERYONE asks that have complicated answers for us.

Question 1 - When are you due?
This is the easier of the tricky questions. March 6th is the real answer. But February 11th is when this baby will finally join our family (just scheduled the c-section today!) Which means the usual follow-up question asking how far along I am is also tricky to answer. Technically I'm 31 weeks. But I only have 5 more weeks to go. So why is the little guy coming so early? Here's the detailed answer: when we did fetal surgery to remove Lydia's tumor, the docs had to make not only a vertical incision, but an extra long vertical incision in order to perform the surgery. (C-sections today are done with horizontal, smaller incisions.) Most women who have c-sections are able to go full-term and opt for a non-c-section delivery in subsequent pregnancies (also known as v-bac. For the sake of my dad I'll avoid explaining what v-bac stands for. You're welcome Pops.) Due to the type and length of the incision I had during the fetal surgery (fetal surgery is different than a c-section, just in case you were wondering), my uterus has a much higher risk of splitting at the incision site if I go into labor. I don't know about you, but I definitely do not want my insides to explode open. So to avoid going into labor all together, the docs have determined it is best for me to deliver BEFORE I hit 37 weeks (the official "full term" mark). So after that super long explanation, you can see why it's hard to tell an innocent questioner in the grocery store my due date. I usually just respond with "the 2nd week of February" but then the follow-up question of "so how far along does that make you?" just doesn't add up. It's a lose-lose situation.

Question 2 - Is this your first?
"No. I have a daughter. She would be 2 but she passed away after she was born." Not only does answering briefly and truthfully make the questioner feel bad, it tugs at my heart strings too. I get that its a completely innocent question and I'm not offended when people ask, but the answer is hard no matter how I say it. If it's a stranger in the grocery store I usually just lie and say that it is my 1st. But then I think of my daughter and everything I went through to bring her here and I feel like I'm dishonoring both her memory as well as the crazy pregnancy we had. I've tried simply saying, "No, this is our 2nd" but 99% of the time a follow-up question is asked wondering how old the first is. Again, do I just lie and say she's 2 and carry on with my shopping while trying not to cry? I get that I'll be asked my whole life how many children I have, and Lydia will ALWAYS be included in that number, but I think the fact that we don't have any other kids just makes that answer harder. Here's to hoping that after more kids come the answer to this question will be less painful and less complicated.

Needless to say - we are beyond excited for Lydia's little bro to make his debut (he is still nameless - we're having a hard time narrowing our list down).

And because pictures make life happy - here is a picture of Husband's birthday trifle (because he is too good for birthday cake). Yes, it was delish!!

We are Here!

Our final stop before leaving "The Lou" was to leave our mark on the Paint Louis wall. After lots of packing/cleaning/eating Thanksgiving/visiting with friends/little-to-know-sleep, the car was loaded (and I mean LOADED) and we quickly drove over to the wall before the long drive.

I just might be addicted to tagging now. It was really fun and we wished we had more time to make it look cool.

Both of us were in tears as we drove out of St. Louis. Such a great place. So many great (and hard) memories. SO many wonderful people who have touched our lives forever. We have made it a goal to not forget the things we have learned as we start our new adventure in a place that is familiar.

Speaking of starting our new adventure . . . this is what our family room looks like right now. I don't even know where to start! I figure since we enjoy eating so much, getting the kitchen in working order is the #1 priority. And can I just say that unpacking is WAY better than packing (especially when I love our place!)

Surviving St. Louis

For almost 6 weeks, husband has been in Utah. Without me. It just made sense to do the Big Move over Thanksgiving weekend, thus limiting the number of days either of us has to take off work. Have I mentioned yet that my job is letting me work remotely through the end of the year? I know - totally awesome. But it means that I have been stuck in St. Louis all by my lonesome (yes, I'm whining. Its well-earned whining though: 5+ weeks alone and PREGNANT!)

So while husband's been "living the dream" in Utah and seeing both of our families, I've been packing up the apartment. By myself. And please don't worry that I've been doing too much for my prego body - I've been smart. Promise.

Anyway - back to us being apart for OVER FIVE WEEKS - this is the longest we've been apart since we met. I know I know - it could be worse, and he could be in the military or it could be WWII and he would be gone for years and years with only a letter or 2 to keep me going. But I think there's a reason God didn't have me born during WWII because I would NOT have been able to handle it. I am not strong enough and I'm one of those pathetic wives that needs to have her husband around.

So yesterday the long-anticipated day was upon us. The day of husband's return!!! His flight to Denver went off without a hitch. About 20 minutes before leaving Denver, the big announcement about the Darren Wilson case was made. (If you've been living under a rock for the last 3 months, google "Ferguson, Missouri." Happy reading.) The plane took off and I figured no matter what happened in Ferguson, we would see each other in 2.6ish hours.

Let's back up to the Darren Wilson case. Things have been CRAZY here for the last 3 weeks with prepping for this big day. Rumors and speculating have been abundant. Every weekend I've been stocking up on the essentials because the announcement was supposed to happen any time. It kind of seemed to be overly hyped up.

So the announcement was made, and within an hour things were getting REALLY ugly. I watched on tv in horror as parts of our town were destroyed. I've never felt afraid like that before - it was scary. All I could think to do was pray for peace and safety for those who were trying to keep the peace. We're about 15 miles from the heart of Ferguson, but there was also a group of protestors in the city, only one mile away from us. Helicopters were flying overhead all night, but other than that our street stayed eerily quiet. And thankfully the city protestors were much more peaceful than the ones in Ferguson.

When it came time to leave to pick up Dan, I mustered up my courage and ran out to the car. (Yes, I got in trouble for leaving the house, so don't bother to yell at me any further. In my defense I needed a man, and getting Dan was the only way to have my man to protect me! And our street really was quiet.) But less than a mile away the protestors had shut down the freeway. Which meant the surface streets were busy with traffic. My drive took me really close to where the shutdown was happening, and it was kind of traumatizing to be see close to the action.

I arrived at the airport just in time to discover that Dan's flight had been CANCELLED. They were literally 10 minutes away from landing in St. Louis when the protesting got so bad that they closed the airport. (The airport is only a couple of miles from Ferguson.) So the plane turned around and went ALL THE WAY BACK TO DENVER. I was devastated. Dan was worried sick and had no way of knowing if I was safe. Needless to say it was a long night for both of us (but it thankfully remained quiet on my street).

And let me also add so that no one worries to much that I wasn't being smart . . . . I live in a duplex and have awesome neighbors that live in my same building and checked-in on me periodically. And my next door neighbors on both sides were also at my beckoned call. And the bishop called several times to make sure I was safe. So I was being taken care of just fine.

Dan spent the night in the airport and was on a flight again at 6:00 am. Thankfully the airport had reopened and we were reunited at last. I cried with relief the whole way home from the airport.

Sorry for this crazy long post without any pictures (head to the news if you want to see pics of all the destruction).

This year for Thanksgiving I have something new to be grateful for - feeling safe. I've taken it for granted my whole life. God bless St. Louis and the good people who live here.

It's Official

You know how on TV when the like-able main character is headed off to some big or important event, and inevitably something goes wrong on the way there? The flight gets cancelled, or there's a major storm, or the car breaks down, etc etc. Did you know those things happen in real life too? Cause they do. Dan was on his way to a big important interview when his tire blew on the freeway. Oh fudge!!! (name that movie)

Yes, he was wearing a suit and tie and proceeded to change the tire on the side of the freeway while cars whirred past at 70 mph. Miraculously he was only 10 minutes late to the interview. Apparently the blown tire didn't phase him at all, because he must have rocked the it-they gave him an offer the very next day!! Praise the Lord and Hallelujah!! It's a great job doing compliance work for a small HR company. We couldn't be more grateful or thrilled.

So what does that mean for our little family?

Yep, that's right. We are moving to Utah! It's been quite the crazy last couple of weeks, and everything just seems to be falling into place like clockwork (which is very NOT normal for us). I keep waiting for something to go wrong because it all seems too good to be true. Then Dan reminded me that his tire blew out on the freeway, and that's got to count for something, right? Right.

So we're packing our bags and will be in Utah by December. To say our families are excited would be an understatement. Get ready Utah - the Ditto's are coming!!

Oh - and just in case you were wondering, this is what baby Gus looked like at 21 weeks. Totally rockin my huge bump. :)