It's Official

You know how on TV when the like-able main character is headed off to some big or important event, and inevitably something goes wrong on the way there? The flight gets cancelled, or there's a major storm, or the car breaks down, etc etc. Did you know those things happen in real life too? Cause they do. Dan was on his way to a big important interview when his tire blew on the freeway. Oh fudge!!! (name that movie)

Yes, he was wearing a suit and tie and proceeded to change the tire on the side of the freeway while cars whirred past at 70 mph. Miraculously he was only 10 minutes late to the interview. Apparently the blown tire didn't phase him at all, because he must have rocked the it-they gave him an offer the very next day!! Praise the Lord and Hallelujah!! It's a great job doing compliance work for a small HR company. We couldn't be more grateful or thrilled.

So what does that mean for our little family?

Yep, that's right. We are moving to Utah! It's been quite the crazy last couple of weeks, and everything just seems to be falling into place like clockwork (which is very NOT normal for us). I keep waiting for something to go wrong because it all seems too good to be true. Then Dan reminded me that his tire blew out on the freeway, and that's got to count for something, right? Right.

So we're packing our bags and will be in Utah by December. To say our families are excited would be an understatement. Get ready Utah - the Ditto's are coming!!

Oh - and just in case you were wondering, this is what baby Gus looked like at 21 weeks. Totally rockin my huge bump. :)

Paint Nite!

It's no secret that I have the artistic talent of a wombat. My stick figures are barely discernible as people, and asking me to draw anything beyond a sun (circle with lines) or a moon (circle) is like asking for the for my dad to like a new recipe. IMPOSSIBLE.

Lately I've seen advertisements for these painting sessions that guarantee a completed painting in a 2 hours. NO ARTISTIC ABILITY REQUIRED. I wanted to do it - partly to prove them wrong. There's no way they could get ME to paint something that I wouldn't throw away in disgust by the end of the night.

So I brought along a few friends, and I have to say - it was a BLAST! We were a little disappointed at first - the painting we signed up for online looked almost nothing like the one the instructor had on display for us to paint.

Here's his painting:

And here's me in action . . . FUN!!

My St Louie chickas and their paintings. All different, but so so fun. Grace's painting on the far right was the closest to what we actually signed up for.

I went in with pretty much NO expectations. I figured if I produced something good enough to hang in a bathroom, I would be happy. While of course mine is nothing that would sell in a paint gallery, it actually looks pretty good! And now I've got the artist bug and I want to go again!! (Sistahs . . . next May? We have to do it!!!) In the mean time, I think I'll start practicing drawing dogs and dinosaurs - I've gotta have SOMETHING manly to draw for little Gus when he comes out. (Gus is just the fetus name. Real name yet to come.)

More Hawaii (and a fun surprise!)

Two months after the fact, its time I finish up Hawaii. Enjoy the photo dump.

First - we had SO much fun announcing to our families in person about the arrival of the next Ditto baby!!!!! We are beyond grateful and feel so blessed.  It's been a LONG couple of years getting to this point, but we trust in God's timing and know this miracle comes from Him. At an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, our little one was proud to show us that he is a man!! Bring on the blue, the cars, and the dinosaurs - we are stoked! He will make his arrival in February and so far we are both doing fine and healthy as can be.

That's a fortune cookie. This announcement made sense to the families . . . promise.

Back to Hawaii - Ditto boys love to jump off high things into water. The next few pics are of the boys jumping The Point. It's high. And I was grateful for the excuse of being pregnant so I didn't have to do it.

Hang Loose! Moments before jumping.

Matt and the famous Go-Pro

From the top looking down. Holy smokes.
And yes, the water really is that blue (actually, its bluer in real life)

The view from The Point. When I look at this picture I think,
"Why don't I live here?"

The "Lost" trees. Many a famous person was filmed here.

Remember the Hurricane that wasn't? We were there. Other than some wind and
an hour of rain, all we got were some giant waves. Husband and Jon are somewhere in there.

I didn't dare put a toe in that water - I would have
drowned in 4 seconds flat. If you look close you can see the surfer.

  

Go Kahuku High! Husband's alma mater (it kind of resembles a prison, so I guess
its kind of miraculous that he has so much school pride). Thanks to the hurricane that wasn't,
the football game was cancelled so we didn't get to experience a game. Total bummer.

At the Polynesian Cultural Center. That place is seriously amazing. I'm holding a little
fish that I made out of coconut tree leaves. And if I look like I'm in the middle of the first
trimester, its because I was.

At the Pali Lookout. I wanted to bring a book and sit there all day. So peaceful. And beautiful.

The next few pics are from our trip to Goat Island. It's a small island we could see from the backyard of the house we stayed in. When the tide is low, you can walk/swim to it on the reef. We chose the PERFECT (and most beautiful) morning to head out there, and we had the entire island to ourselves, which was super cool. This was definitely one of the highlights of the trip. And it was so fun to see husband in his element - Hawaii is definitely where this island boy belongs!

We took this just after arriving. The shore we walked from is behind us.

Husband LOVES animals and little critters. He caught this guy in about 5 seconds. Look at
his face - that is the face of pure joy.

Gross. And cool.

Gorgeous!

Proof that I was there.

Sea cucumbers. When you push them, they leak water. It was gross.

Our little point and shoot camera took this. It was seriously a photographers dream - the sun
was rising in the perfect place and all we did here was set the camera on a rock
and turn on the timer. Yes, we know we're cool.

Adios, Hawaii! Favorite quote from Husband as we were driving to the airport,
"Leaving Hawaii is akin to going through a bad breakup."
It's so true!

Hawaii Part 2 - Maunawili Falls Hike

Yay for gorgeous hikes. And family. And hangin' loose.

Jumping off waterfalls makes you feel young. And Josh wins for the coolest pose.

This is the prize for those brave enough to climb up above the main falls.
We had it all to ourselves and it was super lush.

When you're ready to stop laughing at my awesome sunburn line,
we'll take a closer look at some important details of this picture.

See That Girl and That Guy? He was taking glamour shot pictures of her.
Maybe if my body looked like hers I would do that too.
Ok, I wouldn't.
But it was hilarious and they were taking pictures for a good 30 minutes. They clearly really like themselves.

So naturally we decided to copy them.
HOT HUSBAND!!! :)

Happy 60th to the Pops!

We interrupt the Hawaii goodness to bring Happy Birthday wishes to the man from whom I inherited my nose & ears (two of my best features, if I may say so), as well as my stubborness (and hopefully a few of his good qualities as well): my Pops.

We're so blessed to learn from such an incredible man - I knew few people who have dealt with so much heartache, and he has come through with unwavering faith and determination to continue to find joy in life.

Happy SIXTIETH Birthday Pops! (You're so old!) Wish we were there to celebrate.

Hawaii or Bust

Thanks to the best inlaws ever, we went on a trip with husband's family to their mother land - Hawaii. (Husband grew up there, but the fam hasn't lived there for years now). It was pretty much the trip of a lifetime. Hawaii is amazing and beautiful and every married couple should find themselves in Hawaii at some point (without kids, right?) Seriously - its amazing.

The phrase "Hawaii or Bust" took on a whole new meaning for this trip. In order to go, I kind of almost lost my job (long story) but I was getting on that plane no matter what! (No worries - all ended well and I'm back at work. I THINK that's a good thing?)

Husband and I had to fly to Vegas where we met up with the rest of the family for the flight to Hawaii. Of course there was a delay in St Louie. When we finally landed in Vegas we had to claim our luggage, run outside to find a shuttle to take us to a different terminal, run up 3 flights of stairs, and then re-check luggage. Sorry if any of you happened to be in the Vegas airport and saw two sweaty fools SPRINTING through the Vegas airport with 100 pounds of luggage (did I mention it was approximately 500 degrees outside? Cause it was). Lets just say that we were within only a couple of minutes of missing the flight. Once we knew we made it, Husband's glasses fell off his face (we were sweaty, remember?) and he promptly (and accidentally) stepped on them. Poor husband. Hawaii or bust, right? Right.

It was worth it all.

Why don't I live in Hawaii? I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm so bad at taking the time to pull out the camera to take pictures, but we really tried to capture what we could. Here's a few (more to come later).

GOOD MORNING HAWAII! This was the backyard of the house we stayed at.
Um, yes please?
And this was the morning after the above airport incident, which is why we look
so incredibly awesome.

Some early morning Amberly lovin.

Hike #1. We were 10 minutes into it when these banana trees appeared.
Cool, right? The Husband thought us mainlanders
were crazy for thinking it was exciting.

Thanks to Rach for the hot sunglasses - aren't we cool?

The end of hike #1. Gorgeous. Remember how in Utah you just hike for
a long time, get to a good view, and then turn around? Swimming in a beautiful
waterfall at the end of the hike is SOOO much better. Amen.
And we had it all to ourselves. The day before this I got sunburned like a crispy piece of bacon
(seriously, the worst sunburn ever). The cool water felt incredible.

This is the splash husband made when he jumped off the waterfall.
He forgot to tell me he was jumping, so all you get is the splash. :)

Hawaii has it all! Oceans, beaches, and mountains! Pictures just
don't do it justice.

What's the point of a waterproof camera if you forget to take it
out snorkeling with you? Just trust that we saw some awesome fish. As in,
I don't need to watch Finding Nemo because we saw everything in real life
(minus the sharks of course)

Socks for Lydia

I spent a week in the hospital after Lydia died. The recovery was awful and something I don't let myself remember very often. I believe on day 9 after her birth we were on a flight to Utah so we could bury her. That was flight was brutal, to say the least. During our trip, I couldn't do much, and I'm sure the emotional trauma slowed my physical recovery as well. When we finally made it back to St. Louis, I went to the doctor the next day for a checkup and was immediately re-admitted to the hospital for 3 more days. By this point I had developed bed sores (among other not-so-fun things). It was one of the hardest times of my life. I remember at one point a couple of days into the recovery asking my doctor, "Is this what all c-sections are like? Because if it is, I don't think I can have any more kids." He assured me many times that a normal c-section pales in comparison to what they put my body through, and if I could make it through this, I could make it through anything. I was relieved. And I know now, as I did then, that I would go through it again without hesitation to give Lydia her brief time on earth.

We only had one day in Utah to prepare for her little "funeral." A family friend hand-made her beautiful burial dress, we had a cute little headband for her tiny head, so the only thing missing was something to cover her feet. Others offered to help, but I wanted to do SOMETHING for my daughter, so I insisted on finding them. Dan and I went from store to store all over town - I could barely walk because my body was still incredibly swollen. But no one had any preemie sized socks (and the preemie size probably would have been too big anyway). I'm sure if I had been in my normal state of mind I would have come up with something, but I was exhausted, grieving, and we had other things to get done before the service, so I gave up. We buried our daughter with nothing on her feet. It kind of broke my heart.

Earlier this year, I had a lot of couch time while waiting for the longest miscarriage ever to pass. Since I'm not very good at sitting still, I learned how to crochet and eventually I was good enough that I was able to follow simple patterns. After hours of searching, I found a pattern for baby booties that are actually small enough they would have fit Lydia's feet.

I've slowly been making them over the last several months (I'm still pretty slow). We also worked on making some teeny tiny hats that would have fit her head (Dan even helped cut some of them out). And today we donated them to the hospital where she was born.

Today we celebrate Lydia's 2nd birthday. The literal ache in my arms to hold her is still so strong - I just don't let myself feel it all the time like I did right after she died. It took months before I stopped feeling guilt any time Dan and I just up and left the house to go do something, because I know how near-impossible that is with a baby. And sometimes on Saturday morning, when I'm lying in that state in-between sleep and consciousness, I can almost hear the pitter patter of her little feet, running to open the door to wake up Mom and Dad.

A few months ago I was driving to church (Dan had to go early for meetings). It had been one of the coldest winters on record, and that particular day the sun was actually shining and I was reminded that warmth still existed. Birds were singing and I could tell it was the beginning of spring. As I pulled out onto the street I saw a cute little squirrel run across the road. Without thinking, I turned around to the back seat where Lydia should have been to point out the squirrel to her. I cried that she wasn't sitting there in her car seat. But in a strange way it also makes me happy that every part of me still remembers her and still knows she is part of our family.

Happy birthday, my little one. Your parents love you so much and can't wait to see you again!

ps - any assistance you can give on bringing a little brother or sister to us would be greatly appreciated :)