Case in point:
1 - once a neighbor left 3 guinea pigs on our front porch. They actually were really cute, so we begged and Mom let us keep them. The cage stayed in the laundry room, but after a couple of days, it would start to smell. Rather than cleaning it every other day, we put the cage outside in the shade for a couple hours to air it out. One day we accidentally left them outside. All day. In the hot summer. The poor guinea pigs were gone by the time we got home. (RIP little g. pigs!)
1 - once a neighbor left 3 guinea pigs on our front porch. They actually were really cute, so we begged and Mom let us keep them. The cage stayed in the laundry room, but after a couple of days, it would start to smell. Rather than cleaning it every other day, we put the cage outside in the shade for a couple hours to air it out. One day we accidentally left them outside. All day. In the hot summer. The poor guinea pigs were gone by the time we got home. (RIP little g. pigs!)
2 - After my grandma moved in with us, my mom got a cat to be a companion for grandma. We tried to name the cat, but it only ever responded to "kitty" so the cat was forever just Kitty. And it hated people, so mostly it just stayed outside.
3 - That is all. Those are the only pets we had (unless you count the 24-hour gold fish from the fair, which I don't). So you see, we are NOT pet people.
Let me tell you about why dogs and humans should not live together. They smell. They shed (everywhere!). They bark and annoy the neighbors. They ruin your lawn, and your neighbor's lawn. They are crotch sniffers. Their food and upkeep cost a fortune. . . need I go on? Husband thinks that one day he'll bring home a dog. Not if he still wants to be called husband.
Well, last week, on the eve of my birthday, I got a phone call. A sister from church was in the hospital, and we needed to find someone to watch the dog. To make a long story short, we have the dog. Its sleeping on my couch right now (which of course is covered with 2 towels and a blanket.) Husband was super excited. Have I mentioned yet that husband LOVES animals? His love for animals is as strong as my non-love. Guess what? Molly is a man-hater. It runs and hides every time Dan comes into the room and barks at him if he gets close (unless she's in her pink purse - its her "safe place"). Sigh. Happy Birthday to me!!
That. Is. Hilarious. Love the pink purse. And you're way too nice. I don't care who the person is, we only babysit lizards and fish.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha this is seriously the funniest thing I've read in a long time! I can't wait for Jon to read it, because you two feel the exact same way about dogs. So sad, I will never be able to convince him, nor will his own child. I can't believe Jon and Dan are brothers when it comes to pets!! How could they have such drastically different experiences?
ReplyDeletehahaha you're killing me! We will never have a furry pet because Justin is allergic. Probably for the best though, they do make messes.
ReplyDeleteALICIA! (This is Jon again). Now we're totally on the same page! Thank you! Except you forgot some of the finer details like they bite, are pooping machines, have ticks, fleas, ruin clothes, ruin lives, ruin everything. I'm just getting started :) Ok, maybe not that bad, but yeah I agree, no dogs.
ReplyDeletetruer words have never been spoken. and that is not a real dog. it is a yapping rat thing. I have no love for pets and thank the gods Wayne and I are on the same page;) Also, they lick their own crotches. Disgusting!
ReplyDeleteWhat will Uncle John think when he reads this? Oh well. Dan looks good with a dog purse.
ReplyDeleteI also believe animals are not meant to live amongst people. My in-laws think I am a terrible person because they believe "every little boy should have a dog." (Barf.) They are welcome to continue to think I am a horrible person. I am a horrible, happy, dog-less person.
ReplyDelete